


Crazy Things

by SapphicScavenger



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gabriel has PTSD, Kidfic, Other, They/Them Pronouns for Beelzebub (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-09-25 11:02:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20375674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphicScavenger/pseuds/SapphicScavenger
Summary: Lucifer tries to kill Gabriel but is thwarted by an unexpected force





	Crazy Things

**Author's Note:**

> Hello y’all. Here’s an angsts fic for you. I was going to draw it as a comic but I’m being weaned off of my meds by my doctors and going through withdrawal so it’s hard for me to draw a long ass comic right now. Plus the stuff I did draw in the comic was shitty. So have this angst.

Gabriel’s heart stopped and a scream caught in his throat. He’d anticipated the blade of the Holy Sword[1] to cut through his chest like a knife through cheese. He hadn’t anticipated a short being in black to thrust themselves in between the Archangel and his Older, Fallen Brother. Lucifer gave a low chuckle as the Holy Blade sank deeper into Beelzebub’s stomach. Beelzebub, true to their nature, didn’t flinch or blink or shed a tear. Their brows furrowed in pain as they stayed like a rock in front of Gabriel, unmoving.  
“Ha! Well look at this, dear brother. You’ve turned by own right hand against me.” Lucifer chuckled, his red eyes gleaming dangerously. “Using up the last bit on this Holy Sword to protect you...” He drew the sword out of his former comrade’s body. Blood covered the blade and splattered from the wound onto the ground. It started trickling out of Beelzebub’s mouth and nose as their body swayed like they were on a rocking boat.   
“Oh well. I may have used the last of the charge on this sword, but I haven’t lost the fight. I’ve just given you a reason to fight to the death upon our next meeting.” He gazed down at the sword with a sadistic smile. “But really, Gabriel. This is all your fault. Their fall, and their death. They fell because you were so obedient, so devoted to Her. And now they die because after all this time they still cared for you. This is all your fault.” Flames shot up from the ground and surrounded Lucifer and swallowed him up before receding back into the earth.

Gabriel found himself able to move again rather suddenly when Beelzebub’s legs finally gave out from underneath them and he dropped his sword and lunged forward to catch them in his arms. With tears in his eyes and blood in his mouth, he cradled the body of his companion close to him. “Bee... No... Don’t do this... Wake up... Bee! BEE?!” He shook them gently. Beelzebub let out a raggedy, buzzy cough.  
“G-Gabe-“ They exhaled, looking up at him. Blood flowed out their nose and mouth and a small trickle from their scalp ran into one of their blue-grey eyes that tried to focus on the Archangel. Gabriel’s brow furrowed.   
“Y-You’re an idiot! You’re a damn idiot! Why would you-?!”   
“Sssshhhhut y-your stupid f-face you a-azzhole.... J-Just sh-shut-“ Beelzebub paused in their string of abuse to let out a raggedy cough. “Up....” They paused. “P-People d-do stupid things.... w-when they’re-“ They let out a string of coughs, blood all but spewing out their mouth and onto the archangel’s shirt. “In.. love....”   
Gabriel’s eyes grew glassy as his face slightly flushed. “Oh, Bee-“ He started, tears running unashamedly down his face. “I-I lo-“ His voice cracked. Beelzebub wasn’t listening. Their eyes rolled back in their head and their body went limp. Gabriel’s eyes widened with fear. “Bee! Hey, stay with me. Tell me I’m stupid. Uh.... tell me how much you hate me! Please Bee, I can get you help. Just please, don’t go. Not yet.” But it was too late. They were gone. For the first time in over six thousand years, Gabriel felt his heart break. The world around him seemed to fall away and crumble to dust. He pressed his forehead to his demon counterpart’s and let himself cry.

“Oh dear. This won’t do, will it?” A young, strong voice said. Gabriel’s head shot up. Standing across from him, where Lucifer had been only minutes before, was a young girl.   
She looked to be about twelve to thirteen years old and she had curly dark hair and a pair of black, square glasses on the bridge of her nose accompanied by a smattering of freckles. She wore a baggy Adventure Time sweatshirt and a pair of raggedy bell bottoms and some red converse sneakers that had seen better days. A black beanie with a band logo sat on her head. On her ears were earrings that looked like cats and her nails were painted pink. In a city crowd, you wouldn’t notice this girl as anything great. She had a far off, wild look in her eyes that one might even want to avoid. But this girl held great power over Gabriel and Beelzebub. After all, she had created them herself.  
“Hello Gabriel.” God said, looking at her Archangel fondly like a mother might look at a child[2].   
“L-Lord-“ Gabriel started. The girl interrupted him.  
“I know what you’re thinking. This is one of many forms I can take, and it is the one you would need to be the least scared of right now.” She said, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear and took a step closer to him. “As bad as it is right now, this isn’t the end.” She knelt on the ground.   
“I planned all this you know. It got so lonely, being up there with nothing to do. So I thought ‘what would be a story I want to see unfold’ and I wrote it. Out there in the world, there are many girls like this who are lonely and bored and create their stories so they feel less alone.” God mused. “Don’t heed Lucifer’s words. None of this is your fault. Beelzebub was always meant to fall, as they were meant to survive this.” She reached a hand out to the fallen demon and a ball of light appeared from her palm. When she touched the demon’s abdomen, the wound closed up and the blood disappeared. “But I’m not doing all the work. Their energy is still drained. They will still need to heal on their own.” She smiled and looked up at Gabriel, staring him in the eye. “If you don’t stop being proud and go and admit your feelings to them when they can comprehend it, I will cry.” She said. “It already took six thousand years for those other two to get together and they haven’t even consummated.” She put a hand on his cheek and all of the sudden she changed from an adolescent girl into a stately, older woman. “You’re still an Archangel, a guardian of my creations, but you are free to make your own choices. I’m sitting back and watching my story unfold for itself.” God kissed her son’s forehead. “Tell everyone you see that they must write their own story.”

God hadn’t been kidding when she said the healing would take a while. It was three days before Beelzebub regained full consciousness. When they did, Gabriel was right next by their side, ever vigilant. They woke to find themselves in the spotless bedroom of Gabriel’s penthouse on Earth. They craned their head to the Archangel, who took their hand.  
“Please don’t tell me I said what I think I said and I’m still alive.” Beelzebub croaked out, their breath reeking of decay and someone who’d gone three days or more without brushing their teeth[3].  
“Unfortunately.” Gabriel cracked a smile and cupped their cheek with his spare hand. The demon groaned and closed their eyes, brow furrowed. The archangel leaned down and left a chaste kiss on their cheek. The Former-Prince Of Hell’s face flushed a bright red and they pulled down the Archangel into a passionate kiss on the lips, something they hadn’t shared in over six thousand years. That was how the two spent most of the rest of the next 24 hours; holding tightly to each other as if they were about to disappear, kissing and teasing each other[4].

Beelzebub always had a nasty scar on their torso after that event and that night was branded into Gabriel’s mind for good. When the lovers indulged in sleeping, he often awoke from memories from that night. It was a time like this, over a year later, when Gabriel awoke and didn’t find Beelzebub next to him. His blood ran cold and as he was getting out of bed, the aforementioned demon entered the room gently bouncing a young infant. Upon seeing him awake, they rolled their eyes.   
“Don’t tell me I have to put you to zzzzzleep too.” They groaned, annoyed. Gabriel smiled in relief at their sarcastic remark.   
“No.” He sat up. The demon sat down on the bed next to him. The baby in their arms let out a small cough. “I can lend you a hand with this one though.” A look of relief filled Beelzebub’s eyes and they handed off the child to Gabriel. The two month old looked up at Gabriel with dark violet-blue eyes and a small dove-like noise escaped her mouth as she kicked her feet. Gabriel gently rocked the infernal-celestial child, whose eyes began to flutter closed. Beelzebub gave an annoyed buzzing sound.   
“Oh so you don’t go to zzzzzleep for me but you will for your father, huh? I zzzzee how it goes.” They tapped the infant’s button nose which bore an uncanny resemblance to their own.  
“Don’t listen to your mother, Jordan. They’re just jealous.” Gabriel reassured the baby[5]. Jordan didn’t answer, but did grab onto Beelzebub’s finger with her tiny fist. The latter rolled their eyes and pressed a kiss to their daughter’s forehead. They felt Gabriel’s eyes on them.  
“What are you looking at?” Beelzebub raised their head and met Gabriel’s gaze.  
“The world’s cutest demon.” He replied, causing Beelzebub to turn crimson.   
“Sh-Shut the fuck up.” They coughed out. He pressed a soft kiss to their forehead. “You can’t lie to me Gabriel. I know you’ve been dreaming again. I’m a demon, I can sense fear.”  
“You are very scary.” The Archangel replied dryly.  
“Shut it.” They snarled. “I’m not going anywhere. Both you and the kid are stuck with me.” Gabriel reached out a hand towards Beelzebub’s torso and ran a hand up their shirt, feeling the scar on their stomach from the sword’s blade. The latter sighed and cupped his cheek. Beelzebub kissed him softly. “I’m okay now, Gabriel. You don’t need to be scared. Don’t pity me.” Gabriel returned the kiss.   
“I love you Bumblebee.”  
“Bumblebee? Get a hold of yourself.” They scoffed. Jordan had fallen asleep in her father’s arms. Beelzebub carefully took their daughter from Gabriel and pressed a kiss to her forehead. They put her in the crib on the other side of the room[6] before climbing into bed next to Gabriel and wrapping themselves around him in a hug. He hugged them back and kissed their forehead.  
“Love you.” He mumbled into their hair.  
“Love you too you piece of shit.” They returned. 

[1]: The Holy Sword, an ancient blessed relic which takes a thousand years to charge. With this charge it can kill an angel or a demon with one stab. But only one, before it needs to charge another thousand years. Lucifer found it and planned to use it to kill Gabriel, But was stopped by a small pest.

[2]: This was very strange to Gabriel, considering the form of his corporation was much older than that of a 13 year old.

[3]: Which they had. Normally they performed a minor miracle to keep Gabriel from noticing the smell.

[4]: No sexual intercourse was had that day, Beelzebub needed to rest and heal after all. But there was a lot of soft, intimate touches and kisses in certain places like the neck or the chest. 

[5]: Jordan, the two month old half demon half angel child that was born to Beelzebub and Gabriel on December 26th, didn’t care or understand if her mother was jealous that she fell calmer in her father’s arms. His celestial aura was much more soothing for a baby to fall asleep to. This doesn’t go to say, however, that she didn’t like Beelzebub. Jordan often fell asleep in Beelzebub’s arms and got as excited as one could be when she saw them.


End file.
